As I prepared for an upcoming MOPS meeting on this topic, I couldn’t help but think, am I really facing my mom fears?
I know that’s a big, general question. It can have a plethora of answers, excuses and reasonings. If I were honest with myself, on a day to day basis I would have to say no. I am not entering boldly into conversations with others. I do not always stick to my guns when giving a mom-dreaded consequence, like no t.v. time. I do not always answer my friend’s truthfully when they ask how I’m doing. Like most moms, I sometimes go to bed feeling guilty at the end of the day. I ask myself, am I doing the job I am meant to for my family?
Am I raising my children to be the adults this world so badly needs? As all of these doubts raced through my mind, I was greeted with relief in realizing there is no “perfect” to achieve. Amen! I also realized that good moms don’t happen on accident. Truth be told I am a way better mom to my third child than my first. Not that I love the one more, but that I have learned from my mistakes. I’m open to new ideas, concepts and products. I have grown as a person and a mom. I felt way more at ease as I came home with a new born for the 3rd time than the 1st. I am feeling way more confident in facing my mom fears today once I took a step back, and looked at how I have conquered my past ones.
This is exactly what MOPS CEO Sherry Surratt talks about in her book, “Brave Mom- Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears”. Sherry invites moms to grow past their fears as she provides scriptures, and practical steps to apply to what you are facing today.
My favorite part in the book so far, is the great strategy that a friend of hers introduced her too:
NAME IT, LEARN IT, DO IT, LET IT GO!
- Admitting the fear; put it in a sentence
- Focus on learning the dangers that concern you and try to apply the facts to how reasonable the fear is.
- Focus on the things you can control.
- Then LET IT GO!
Sherry uses this example: Picture your fear as a balloon that gets lighter and lighter each time you focus on something you could do to make a difference, and then release the string and let it float up and up and away.
What a wonderful way of declaring that your fears do not have control over you! I know this is not an easy fix. I know this is something that in one way or another, we will always struggle with. But there is freedom in letting fear go. It is truly a weight lifted when you focus on what can be done verses worrying about the unkown. I’d like to encourage you to try it!
Do you have mom fears that you shut down? Can you use this or a similar strategy to help you face and overcome those fears?
This life is too precious to let our fears get the best of us, right?! So here’s to all of you Magnificent Moms out there facing your fears one step at a time, day by day. You have what it takes to, “Be You Bravely!”
I may just have to pick up this book! I often second guess my parenting decisions, and I too feel the occasional guilt after putting my daughter to bed. I often ask myself- Did I get it “right” today? Should I have devoted more time to her? How can I be a better mom?
Like you said, a good mom is made on purpose! 🙂 Trying our best is all we can do!